[TSG] A nine-year-old Florida girl is facing four felony charges after she allegedly threw a tantrum yesterday on a school bus, spit on the driver, threw rocks at the bus, and tossed a patio chair at a cop, who she warned, “I will fuckin kill you!” The child, a fourth grader at the Royal Palm School in Fort Myers, was traveling home when the driver told her to stop eating candy on the bus. The girl “became very upset” and started yelling obscenities at driver Robert Middleton, according to a Lee County Sheriff’s Office report. After threatening to strike other children on the bus, the girl jumped off the bus (but not before spitting on Middleton). She then allegedly started throwing pieces of asphalt at the bus. When a sheriff’s deputy arrived on the scene and ordered the child to stop throwing the asphalt, she replied, “Fuck you! Fuck you!” The child added, “Shut the fuck up. I will fuckin kill you.” After warning that she would hurt him, the child “picked up an aluminum patio chair and threw it at me,” reported a deputy. After blocking the chair with his arm, the cop restrained the child, who then “attempted to bite my arm and said, ‘I am going to kill you, get off of me!” The pint-sized terror was charged with battery on a public school employee, resisting arrest with violence, battery on a law enforcement officer, and throwing a deadly missile into an occupied vehicle. The girl, pictured in the above mug shot, was released into her parents’s custody last night and placed on home detention for 21 days.
Why can’t this chick eat candy? Did she steal it? Was she irresponsibly disposing of wrappers all over the bus? Listen, if Robert Middleton wants to run his bus like Nazi Germany that’s fine – it’s his turf, I get it. But don’t be surprised when a constituent revolts against the oppression of your ridiculous rules. How does he even know what she’s eating anyway? I’d like to call his attention to the road into question. If Whitney Houston is right and the children are indeed our future, there’s no way we can teach them well and let them lead the way if they burn to death in a fiery crash because Robert doesn’t have his eyes focused on where he’s driving.
It may be easy to paint this 4th grade freedom fighter as the bad apple here, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. There’s no such thing as an overreaction when your constitutional right to stuff your face with Milk Duds is being violated. You have to be committed. Our country wasn’t founded on bowing down to British rule or attempting to reason with them. We threw asphalt & chairs. Figuratively. Let’s not forget that. Perhaps this tantrum on its own didn’t achieve the ultimate goal, but it put Middleton on notice and paved the way for the rest of the bus to fight the good fight. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon enough kids en route to Royal Palm school will be smiling chocolaty smiles & remember the pioneer responsible for it all. Buckwheat’s fat, crazy sister.
